I can't believe it's mid-semester already. Only a month-and-a-half more until I am completely done with school. 0.0 I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Maybe a cartwheel. Whee!

To help myself prep for the rest of my semester, I finally went to see the guy to whom my old therapist referred me.
The visit seemed to give me some of the motivation I needed to get going on this paper due Thursday. Though I'm still at the beginning stages, I'm hopeful that I'll finish it earlier than I anticipated. Then I have my 2nd paper due on the 14th.

I hope I can get enough done so I can fully enjoy the Chocolate Show next weekend. I'd hate to have the enormous task of doing most of my next paper after I get my chocolate on. =P

It's dreary outside, but I'm happy it's almost the weekend. Here's a few updates:

• I finalized my new schedule with my supervisor. I drop my extra morning hours next week, and I go 80% the following week through to Christmas week.
  
• The prof who seemingly picks on me told me yesterday that I'm "doing much better" now. Ya mean I wasn't before? 0.o  *scratches head*
• It's dreary outside. Today should be a stay-inside-and-sleep-'cause-it's-raining day.
  
• Oppositional people still get me really, really anxious. Luckily, I have great coworkers helping me learn to deal with them more appropriately.
• I can focus my efforts this weekend on cookies and truffles. Yay!
• I'm feeling really motivated, and I think I'm going to try to start some research this weekend for my paper due at the end of the month.
• I'm feeling much better. Thanks for the support.

I woke up with my left eye puffy and a bit swollen. I know I did some crying at my counseling appointment, but usually the swelling is gone by the next day. I looked closer, and there's a teeny-tiny bump under my eye. What is it? A bite? Did I rub something into my eye last night when it was itchy? Allergies? I think the most likely culprit is a tiny bug, feasting on me while running last night. =? Oh, bother. No contacts for me today, unless I want the kids to think I'm winking at them all afternoon. =P

In other news, as per usual, I'm running late for work, and should've left already. I still need to get some lunch. *sigh* I'm beginning to hate late Fridays.

/whining

Work's still pretty busy, and is keeping my very tired. However, I was able to catch up with almost half of my flist's posts, and do a little exercise this week.

Things are going pretty well. Counseling appointments are productive, as is work. I actually feel less anxious about "screwing up" with the kids, and am now kind of enjoying it. The kids are actually taking me more seriously, and I feel really confident that I'm helping them in some way, without damaging their already fragile support system. =)

In addition to work, the past couple of weeks surrounds around food and family. This weekend will be no exception. Fortunately, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. We're having a birthday dinner for my bro this Sunday, and that will be the end of it. He's now 21. *sniff* They grow up so fast. /sniff. May Madness is coming to a close, and I won't really have to worry about another birthday until mid-July. *big sigh of relief*

The Hubby's good. He's been tired as well due to May Madness and my work schedule. Summer hours should help alleviate the fatigue in a couple of weeks.

I forgot to mention the pressies I got recently, but I'm too tired to remember them all, and I want to include pics. The ones foremost in my mind are: Cadbury Flake and a thoughtful saying of Friendship in a beautiful frame from lizabug, a plush monkey PEZ dispenser from my sis, and a fun Disney princess paddle ball from blackbirdshaq. That's because I saw them this morning. =P Maybe I'll get to them this weekend.

Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy the weekend!

Wow. It's definitely been a while since I've been able to properly keep up with everyone and post in my own journal. Things just got so busy with school ending and then starting full-time at my old/new job that I am just too tired to go on after work.

So, what's up with me? Let's see. I finished the semester (YAY!), and I have about a month and a half before my summer class starts. Including the summer class, I have 3 classes left to take before graduation. Woo! I have to take a licensing exam and all that, but I'll worry about that later.

Right now, I work full-time with the kiddies, from noon to 8pm. The work's hard, but I think I'm slowly getting the hang of dealing with some of the kids who make me nervous. Aside from seeing kids' progress, the second best part of working with the kids is Activity. I get paid to play tag with the kids and run around. I think I've gotten more of a workout in the past couple of days during Activity, than the last few weeks. *L*

Things are going well with my counselor. He's been working with me on how not to be so much of a worry-wart perfectionist. After multiple sessions of continous crying, the last one was less tearful. I was able to hold myself together more, which is kind of a big feat for me. There's still a lot of work to be done, so I'm not rushing it.

At home, things are going pretty well. I've gotten a little sloppy again because of my schedule shift, but it's not terrible. The Hubby and I are going to buy the groceries for the BBQ I'm having in a week, and I'm feeling so excited! My mommy's going to make the sauce for the meat-on-a-stick we'll be grilling, and is letting us use all of their picnic supplies. I love my mom. =)

Other than this, not much else going on. I hope once I settle into my new schedule, I'll feel more energized to do other things. Have a great weekend everyone!

• 2 papers and 3 more classes to go.
• Sent out the evite for my bbq.
• Cadbury caramel eggs are only good at room temp. Not frozen. The creme eggs are the reverse. =P
• My computer fan doesn't seem to be working, so The Hubby plans to look at it this weekend.
  
• The weather's nice again. I'm loving it!
• My body seems to be broken this week. My head feels fuzzy, and my eyes are stinging from looking at my comp screen. I hope I'm not getting sick. =?

I think it's time for a nap. Then, my first paper.

Despite the forecast for rain on the CW11 this morning, there was none. However, the excessive rain for the last few days caused some major traffic delays around the area. Thus, my class last night was cancelled, and I had to reschedule my counseling appointment today because I wasn't getting anywhere in the awful mess. I checked my school email account, which stated that NB (where Rutgers is located), was in a state of emergency because practically all the roads around the area were flooded/affected by the storms. 0.0 Crazy.

So, after doing some grumbling and mentally kicking myself for not checking the traffic reports and leaving sooner, I headed home, and proceeded to do some work on my presentation for tomorrow's class and wrap some prizes for my friend's bridal shower this weekend.

The weather's warmer now, and the birds are chirping. Put's me in a bit of a good mood. The batteries are finally done charging, so now I can finish off my presentation. I hope to get it done before The Hubby gets home, so I can make pizza and bake some cookies tonight.

So, my mood has vastly improved. I haven't been much in the mood to post these days, mostly because my life is somewhat dull right now, but also because the weather's gotten so much warmer, and I'd rather spend my days outside or doing much-needed relaxing.

I spent the weekend in Dallas, visiting The Hubby. The weather was gorgeous, despite the forecasts of chance thunderstorms throughout the weekend. =) We did the Tourist Thing on Saturday, walking around Dallas, visiting the place where JFK was shot, and going through the Sixth Floor Museum (dedicated to the JFK assassination). We went to this place called Papadeaux, which had awesome creole/cajun seafood, and had enough left over for a full meal the next day. On Sunday, we mostly relaxed, and took in a flick with Lucas Haas called Who Loves the Sun, one of the many films offered during Dallas' first AFI film festival. Some parts of the movie were good, but not enough to win a high rating from either of us. We got back to the hotel early, so The Hubby could do some laundry, and so we could catch up on some shows. I left Monday morning, and got back in time for my class, but not really because of my dinner outing with Cris and her Jon.

My internship's winding down, and tonight's my final group with my kids. We're going to be doing a little art project/recap, followed by a mini-pizza party. I feel a bit frazzled getting everything together (I was never good with party planning), but I think I have just about everything I need.

Well, need to get ready now. If only there were a place I could have my group outside. It's so gorgeous!

I decided to make my last post a private one because I realize, after a day of thinking it over, I already know my answer, and no one needs to hear me complain, yet again. So, for those of you who read it, I appreciate your taking the time to do so, as I always do. For those of you who haven't or didn't get a chance to, I just thank you for being there in past entries.

I think I'm just really confused right now, and thus it's making me feel very blurty. =?

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I've been working night shifts since Tuesday, so it leaves little time for me to check mail and comment on others' entries as much as I would like. However, I do enjoy working with the kids, and I realize that working with them is starting to grow on me. Perhaps working with kids is still in my professional future. =)

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I find it very strange that the weather can be warm enough for me to wear short-sleeve this morning, but so freezing cold when I got home an hour ago. Even stranger is that there's a rumor that we'll be getting 6 inches of snow tomorrow. 0.o Wacky weather.

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I got a whole package of unbruised strawberries and a box O'Cocos mocha crisps from Whole Foods today. Yum!

Once the sun came out, I started to feel much better. Well, that, and the verbal rant to my counselor about what's been going on for the past couple of weeks. =P

The Hubby's been pretty supportive through my funky mood swings, of which I'm grateful. As a treat, tonight will all be about the comfort foods: breakfast for dinner! The Hubby even said I could buy some ice cream and we now have Starbucks mocha frapps in the house! *hops around in excitement* Lots of chocolate-flavored things in the house make me very giddy. =D

Though I already went grocery shopping, I still have to get a few things to buy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I think I should do that now.

Woke up with a dizzy-headache. Still kinda have it, so I'm not feeling up to doing much of anything. However, stuff must be done. Kitchen's a mess, my dresser's a mess (again), we need food, need to work on take home midterm, and I have an appointment.

*sigh* I wish the rain would stop. Really puts a damper on my mood. Blech. Is it Saturday night yet?

That seems to be the theme of my life this week. I've been getting in touch with various people, personal, professional, and therapeutic. The past couple of days have been pretty uneventful in the drama department, which is good. It makes me feel happy and relaxed.

It's still been extremely cold, but I've been heeding the warnings of staying inside as much as I can. I've been craving lots of thick soups, and thus, Panera's getting big business from me. I love their sourdough breadbowls. I have to resist going again this week, or else I won't have any money by the end of the month. =P

I'm very excited for this afternoon. I've scheduled a haircut appointment for this afternoon because it's been a while, with an eyebrow threading. Yup. I thin I definitely need it. For tonight, I'm making cheese/jelly sandwiches with tomato soup for dinner. This all will be enjoyed in front of the boob tube with The Hubby, to do our usual Thursday Marathon. I'm so excited to watch Smallville and CSI! =D Ahh. Life's simple pleasures.

Today was much better than yesterday. Somehow, I felt that today was going to be a good day, and it was. =D

I went to my internship in the new building. After getting lost in the HUGE space, I settled into one of the clinicians' office, where his computer and phone were tucked neatly in the corner. I met briefly with my supervisor and a co-worker, and then waited anxiously for my 10:30 appointment. She told me last week she was going to have dental work, and thus was unsure as to whether she'd be up to coming today. Fortunately, she came. Yay! Even better, she showed up on time! 0.o This is one who's notorious for being late. I was very excited. We had a good session. She's scheduled to come next week. *keeps fingers crossed*

I got my PI pics from Snapfish yesterday, and they came out beautifully. I know I've yet to post those pics here. I will...eventually. =P They look so much better in matte than glossy finish. I think glossy washes out the color. I was able to share my stories of PI with the elderly clients, with these visual aids. =) They seemed to enjoy it.

When I got home, I was able to get homework reading done for class tomorrow, set up some appointments, and prep dinner. The Hubby came home early, so we were able to catch up on Heroes and 24, too. Right now, I'm thinking I'll get ready for bed. I have an early class tomorrow, and I want to get up early enough to do yoga.

I'm trying to stay hopeful and positive, which seem to be paying off right now.

I went to my first counseling session today. On the surface, I think things went as I expected. I figure out some things as I spoke to my therapist, like my frustrations/crying spells are linked to my fears of being lonely and failing. He thought I was being really hard on myself, based on what I've told him. I have my next appointment next week. He's going to help me figure out where to go from my confused mess to something workable and goal-oriented.

This is a summation of what my mind's social worker analysis processed in the past hour. I had a longer post than this, but LJ decided to show me who's boss and got rid of the contents in my lj-cut. =? I'm trying to stay positive, though it's proving to be somewhat difficult today.

I've had a pretty good weekend. I didn't do much in terms of going out or anything, but I got a lot of housekeeping done--both mentally and physically. I've been doing a lot of housecleaning: laundry, dishes, garbage, etc, which has improved my mood somewhat. The space is changing, and thus my mood has, too. I've been feeling so much more motivated since last week, and this has made me happy. Resuming the A.M. yoga helps a lot, too. =P

Also, when I'm not posting about my life here, I'm writing my thoughts and feelings in my journal at home. I think the extra care to write before bed has quelled my sleepless nights. =) Things are looking up, and I want to make sure they stay that way. So, to aid in that, I finally set up an appointment with the counselor at school, instead of playing email tag with him.

For the first time in weeks, I'm feeling really happy and content with my life. =D

I've been playing appointment tag with my potential therapist--not because I want to, but because we seem to just miss each other with dates/times we're free. *sigh* This is frustrating, but I'll deal.

I miss my old clients! I think I should write them a little "hello" card. Someone came in yesterday that reminded me of them. He was paranoid as heck, but pleasant overall, once he calmed down from it. =P

Hehe. I just thought of that when I was pondering on what needs to get done today. I'm happy to say that I'm in a more pleasant mood today, and I've accomplished much in the 3 hours I've been in my internship today. I have much more to do, but they will have to be accomplished at home. Yeah! I feel great today! Even my eating habits are so much better.

I think that I was feeling a bit down because The Hubby was away. I was feeling alone and isolated; but, a few visits to my family helped that. I'm still trying to coordinate with counseling services to set up an appointment, but I'm hopeful. So, I'm pretty happy again. =D

Not the bad kind. The good one: so happy it's Thursday. =)

I'm feeling so much better than yesterday. My day just seemed to fly by, and I was even in the mood to cook/bake tonight. I made some swedish meatballs for my bro, and I'm about to make some more for The Hubby's return tomorrow, in addition to some honey roasted pecans. Ooh. Maybe I'll bake some shortbread, too. =P

I just woke up 30 minutes ago. After a full month of having a bunch of family/friends around me almost 24/7, I feel lonely. My sleeping is still off, and it doesn't help when The Hubby's not here. I miss him.

So now, I feel like shite. Not healthwise, just feeling-wise. Extreme mood change from yesterday. I have to get ready for my internship in a little, and I'm hoping like crazy that my headache will go away before I have to interact with my clients. They don't need to see me like this.

Today was a pretty good day. I'm motivated to get to my paper and my internship work. (Keep your fingers crossed that I get it done with time to spare.) The internship didn't stress me out either.

Music with J  was on the schedule today with the clients. He thought the clients would like to do some karaoke, a fun change from his usual keyboard performance and sing-a-long. He brought in his computer and a large speaker, and we set up the blackboard as a white screen. He gave us some background of the art, and then started us off with some fun favorites. Most of the clients seemed to have a great time, and the staff enjoyed it just as much. One client was disappointed because he wanted to dance more. ^_^

Lunch was served shortly afterwards, when I had to regretfully inform the clients that next Tuesday would be my last with them. They were all disappointed, but understood that my internship duties call me elsewhere (back to the office). I told them I would return for one day after my trip to PI, with pictures and stories. They seemed to perk up with that.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I got some internship paperwork done, and then got home to lounge for a bit before starting dinner. Making pizza. Turkey, too (leftover from Thanksgiving...extra from my internship). =D

Time to check on the pizza and get some research done.