This past week's been mostly good. I'm feeling okay about work again, probably because I don't feel like I'm stuck anymore. May Madness isn't too bad, thus far. I think I need a little non-work-related madness to keep me balanced. I know work's been consuming all of my time, and posts, for months now.

The Board finally called me to tell me they got my application and that everything's complete. Woohoo! I'm on "The List" for application review at the end of this month. Now all that's left are the fingerprinting, background check, and more waiting.

There's a position opening up in another dept at work, in which I'm somewhat interested. It sounds like a great opportunity to expand my repetoire to more than just group programming, but I'm hesitant about the driving and all-day fieldwork. However, I will still submit my resume to the program supervisor tomorrow. I'll keep my options open to going elsewhere, perhaps closer to home with less fieldwork responsibilities. We'll see.

We celebrated the BIL's birthday and Mother's Day without too much craziness. Moreover, our family's getting ready for our big Europe trip at the end of the month. I wish it were here already - I need a vacation.

First part of May Madness did not disappoint.

Work was busy, what with all the defiant kids climbing fridges and running amok. They were handled. I did not fall into beating myself up over "what I could've done differently". I'm very proud of myself for this. Found out my coworker's putting in her resignation. My feelings over it are bittersweet. On the one hand, professionally, I learned a lot from her. On the other, personally, I took her constructive feedback pretty hard. Overall, I think I'll miss her. She had a way with the kids that awed and inspired me. I'm also jealous that she's leaving before I am. She's doing what's best for her right now, and that's really important. I respect her for that.

I got my wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday. It hurt like a biotch! Not the usual extraction either - impacted. Yep. I waited that long. I drugged myself up for the first day with 4 doses of generic Vicodin (at the appropriate timely doses) because the pain was so bad. I still can't decide whether or not I think the pain was worth the nausea I had. Bleh. I ate solid foods today - salmon with mashed potatoes, which was great. I was starving! We had chocolate ice cream for dessert. Yum. =P I still look like a chipmunk with the swelling, but at least I can sit up without too much pain, be somewhat useful at home, and I can enjoy the rest of my weekend. Woo! We're going to visit The Hubby's cousin for lunch and a trip to the boardwalk tomorrow. =)

The upcoming week will be just as busy. The Hubby's getting his extraction Tuesday. BIL's bday is Thursday. I have homemade gifts/cards to make for all the important mothers in my life. I want to bake now, but I think I should do a little more resting before I go overboard with baking and making. I'm excited. When I've figured out recipes to use, I'll post them here.

I hope everyone else is enjoying their weekend.

It's really terrible when all I live for is the weekend now, especially with the weather being so gorgeous. =P

( I've been obsessing over work/my license a lot. I need something different. )

On a positive note, we're starting to plan our summer program. I'm really looking forward to it for the following reasons: planning fun activities, daytime hours, rec activities instead of therapeutic groups all day, outside time, and daytime hours. Yes, I mentioned "daytime hours" twice. It's worth the mention. =D I hope to find something different by the end of the summer if I don't find anything beforehand. It would be a great transition to end the summer program, then begin a new job. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I finally received my licensure application in the mail. I'm almost done filling it out, so it should be mailed out sometime this week (I hope). Due to taking this next step, I resumed looking for other positions within and outside the company. As much as I like the kids and enjoy my coworkers, I feel the urge for a change. I'm starting to feel burnout, which isn't a good sign. I also didn't see myself working with kids or with a partial care program for the rest of my life.

I've been looking around at hospitals, mental health agencies, and such. I hope I find something once I get my license physically in my hands. It would be nice to expand my resume to doing things other than groupwork.

Lately, it feels like there hasn't been much in my life worth posting. I know a few things have happened, but I can't seem to remember anything. =?

Work's okay. I'm pushing myself more and more to move out of my comfort zone. I'm taking more initiative to handle the kids who really push my buttons. Though I'm not always successful (in my mind), I haven't broken any of them. Heh. Always a good thing. State reviewers are coming next month to look at our program, so we're all pretty high strung about that.

I finally received my diploma in the mail. Officially a Masters graduate. =) I scheduled my license exam for next Friday as well, which makes me feel really worried. I keep telling myself it'll be fine and I'll pass, but I hate taking tests. Going to the gym would relieve some of my anxiety, if I wasn't still fatigued from a slight case of the flu earlier this week. *sigh* I just have to keep reviewing. I know what I'll be doing this weekend.

I think I'll be a bundle of raw nerves until I take it next Friday. I hope the time I'll spend studying this weekend will help alleviate some of this stress. I think it'll do me some good to run around with the kids today, too.

For the last couple of weeks, I keep thinking that Tuesday/Wednesday is really Thursday. Not sure why, except for maybe the wishful thinking that the weekend was closer. =P

I'm still in the process of getting the pre-approval to register for my licensing exam. I'm a bit frustrated that the Board hasn't gotten my transcript yet, even though school said they mailed it out a month ago. =? To remedy this, I took my former classmate's advice (an intern at my work) to have it mailed to myself, then send it to the Board by certified mail. What a pain! The whole process makes me anxious because it's a lot of waiting and planning out the timing for everything. I just hope I can get it to them in time so I can still schedule to take my exam in the beginning of March.

My days became longer again, now that I commute with The Hubby on almost a daily basis. It's rough, but now I'm actually being more productive. I joined the gym near work (finally), so I alternate between weight training and swimming. I'm sore, but it feels pretty good. It's better than me spending those extra hours sneaking junk food because I'm bored, or spending money I really shouldn't. =? I hope that the exercise will help decrease my constant fatigue and my anxiety about stuff going on.

The Hubby and I are in the process of spring cleaning. It's rough because we're both packrats, but we're getting there. Our plans also include partial renovations in our bathrooms. Maybe by the end of the month. Anyone done bath fitting? We were thinking of that as an option. The in-laws did it, and it came out nice.

I have pictures of food, but it's late. I don't want to make anyone too hungry so late. =P

My coworker and I both called out on Monday. He was achy, I was nauseous and headachy. Another coworker thinks it's some sort of stomach virus due to the random bouts of headaches and nausea. I hope not. My head's achy, and I feel run down. Worst of all, the headaches are stress ones with the pain starting at my temples, running all the way to my shoulder blades. =?

I'd call out again, but it would make it very difficult for me to go back to a full week. Moreover, I can't do that to my coworkers again. My coworkers are luckily very understanding, and letting me take it somewhat easy at work. I have a scheduled doctor's appt on Saturday, so I'll give him a head's up on what's been happening this week. Friday can't come much sooner...

In the past 2 days, I wrote 2 incident reports about clients getting injured in my presence. My supervisor said that I get a gold star for writing up the most incident reports of any employee in the program. Even the company safety officer recognizes me as "the one who was bitten by that kid". My coworker thinks that we should start bubble wrapping our clients when I'm around, or give them one of those sumo wrestler padded suits.

I'm beginning to wonder if that black cat that crossed my path last week is the culprit of my poor luck. =?

Though I didn't quite get everyone done that I wanted to this morning, I feel pretty accomplished.

I did 1/3 of my assignment that's due tomorrow, and found really good references to use for my big paper due next week. I also did some correspondence that I've been putting off, and had a quick conversation with my brother, who I haven't spoken to for almost a month. He's feeling the school stress like I am, though maybe more so.

Today's my first short Tuesday of my new work schedule. I'm looking forward to the extra time to get school stuff done, and maybe some neglected house-related duties.

I hope to make a dent in my paper tonight, even if it's just a paragraph.

Oh, and I'll get to watch Prison Break tonight, about which I'm excited. =P

As I mentioned in previous posts, work's been pretty stressful. Lately, I've had to deal with a lot of oppositional kids who don't seem to mesh well with each other, and this week's no better. Even though half of the group went pumpkin picking, I somehow get stuck with the group who ends up needing lots of 1:1s and constant redirection. *sigh*

There's one particular kid with whom I find really difficult to work. He's oppositional, he's my size (if not taller), and he's in complete denial of accepting any responsibility. So whenever he's in program, somehow he sucks the other kids into his web of inappropriate behavior, and little bouts of chaos ensue. When he gets oppositional during group, my anxiety increases because I fear losing control of the group. I end up feeling exasperated at the end of the day because I'm tired of redirecting him. I talk to my supervisor often about different ways to deal with the opposition and I know it takes practice, but it's still frustrating. Sometimes, I just feel lost. I wonder to myself, Am I ever going to get this and not feel like a failure? I hope so.

It's days like these that makes me question whether to continue working with them, or to even have them. =?

It's dreary outside, but I'm happy it's almost the weekend. Here's a few updates:

• I finalized my new schedule with my supervisor. I drop my extra morning hours next week, and I go 80% the following week through to Christmas week.
  
• The prof who seemingly picks on me told me yesterday that I'm "doing much better" now. Ya mean I wasn't before? 0.o  *scratches head*
• It's dreary outside. Today should be a stay-inside-and-sleep-'cause-it's-raining day.
  
• Oppositional people still get me really, really anxious. Luckily, I have great coworkers helping me learn to deal with them more appropriately.
• I can focus my efforts this weekend on cookies and truffles. Yay!
• I'm feeling really motivated, and I think I'm going to try to start some research this weekend for my paper due at the end of the month.
• I'm feeling much better. Thanks for the support.

After much debating and pushing myself, I finally came to the decision that a full-time work schedule with school's too much. I initially felt guilty and disappointed that I couldn't do it, as so many others have done it before, but a little extra money is not worth my tears of stress and exhaustion. Especially in my line of work, seeing the case manager fall apart when you're trying to get yourself together isn't really conducive.

I talked it over with The Hubby, and after some initial frustration and disappointment, he's more understanding and supportive of the change. I also talked it over with my supervisor at work, and she's okay with it. We're looking over my schedule now to accommodate my cutback hours and the staffing schedule.

I feel so much lighter, like a humongous weight's been lifted. I know I have to take care of myself. I also know that the professional side of me that knows this fact still struggles with the personal side that's been raised to push to do it all. It's going to take a while to break that, but I'm hopeful it will happen sooner than later. I'm so grateful that I have so many supportive people in my life. I think I would've fallen apart ages ago if it weren't for them.

Friday before a long weekend, and I'm at work. =P Half of the building is empty because people took an extra day for holiday, so it's eerie quiet. 0.0

Right now, I'm avoiding some of the tasks I have to do because it involves straightening out the group room. The summer program ended for the kids last Tuesday, so they won't return until Wednesday next week. There's lots of time, and barely anything with which to fill it. I'd check email, but IT decided to ban outside email access from the office. Without warning. In less than 24 hours. 0.o No messenger clients either.

I'm just waiting until the clock strikes 5, so I can run home. The Hubby's grandma's birthday is today, and I made some cinnamon-nut biscotti for her. I want to dip some in chocolate before wrapping it up.

Not much else going on right now. Hopefully the time goes quickly.

I woke up with my left eye puffy and a bit swollen. I know I did some crying at my counseling appointment, but usually the swelling is gone by the next day. I looked closer, and there's a teeny-tiny bump under my eye. What is it? A bite? Did I rub something into my eye last night when it was itchy? Allergies? I think the most likely culprit is a tiny bug, feasting on me while running last night. =? Oh, bother. No contacts for me today, unless I want the kids to think I'm winking at them all afternoon. =P

In other news, as per usual, I'm running late for work, and should've left already. I still need to get some lunch. *sigh* I'm beginning to hate late Fridays.

/whining

Work's still pretty busy, and is keeping my very tired. However, I was able to catch up with almost half of my flist's posts, and do a little exercise this week.

Things are going pretty well. Counseling appointments are productive, as is work. I actually feel less anxious about "screwing up" with the kids, and am now kind of enjoying it. The kids are actually taking me more seriously, and I feel really confident that I'm helping them in some way, without damaging their already fragile support system. =)

In addition to work, the past couple of weeks surrounds around food and family. This weekend will be no exception. Fortunately, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. We're having a birthday dinner for my bro this Sunday, and that will be the end of it. He's now 21. *sniff* They grow up so fast. /sniff. May Madness is coming to a close, and I won't really have to worry about another birthday until mid-July. *big sigh of relief*

The Hubby's good. He's been tired as well due to May Madness and my work schedule. Summer hours should help alleviate the fatigue in a couple of weeks.

I forgot to mention the pressies I got recently, but I'm too tired to remember them all, and I want to include pics. The ones foremost in my mind are: Cadbury Flake and a thoughtful saying of Friendship in a beautiful frame from lizabug, a plush monkey PEZ dispenser from my sis, and a fun Disney princess paddle ball from blackbirdshaq. That's because I saw them this morning. =P Maybe I'll get to them this weekend.

Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy the weekend!

Wow. It's definitely been a while since I've been able to properly keep up with everyone and post in my own journal. Things just got so busy with school ending and then starting full-time at my old/new job that I am just too tired to go on after work.

So, what's up with me? Let's see. I finished the semester (YAY!), and I have about a month and a half before my summer class starts. Including the summer class, I have 3 classes left to take before graduation. Woo! I have to take a licensing exam and all that, but I'll worry about that later.

Right now, I work full-time with the kiddies, from noon to 8pm. The work's hard, but I think I'm slowly getting the hang of dealing with some of the kids who make me nervous. Aside from seeing kids' progress, the second best part of working with the kids is Activity. I get paid to play tag with the kids and run around. I think I've gotten more of a workout in the past couple of days during Activity, than the last few weeks. *L*

Things are going well with my counselor. He's been working with me on how not to be so much of a worry-wart perfectionist. After multiple sessions of continous crying, the last one was less tearful. I was able to hold myself together more, which is kind of a big feat for me. There's still a lot of work to be done, so I'm not rushing it.

At home, things are going pretty well. I've gotten a little sloppy again because of my schedule shift, but it's not terrible. The Hubby and I are going to buy the groceries for the BBQ I'm having in a week, and I'm feeling so excited! My mommy's going to make the sauce for the meat-on-a-stick we'll be grilling, and is letting us use all of their picnic supplies. I love my mom. =)

Other than this, not much else going on. I hope once I settle into my new schedule, I'll feel more energized to do other things. Have a great weekend everyone!

There's a wintry mix of precipitation outside. Big Boss Lady announced the cancellation of the kids' program for today, so our super said we could come in for regular business hours today. Woo! At 11:30am, Big Boss Lady told us that we're closing early. Yay! Even better, she told us that the kids' program will be cancelled tomorrow; therefore, no work for me! Wahoo! *dances around*

Today's been a good day so far. I got home a couple of hours ago, I didn't die from driving in the crazy weather, and HP4's on in the background. =)

I decided to make my last post a private one because I realize, after a day of thinking it over, I already know my answer, and no one needs to hear me complain, yet again. So, for those of you who read it, I appreciate your taking the time to do so, as I always do. For those of you who haven't or didn't get a chance to, I just thank you for being there in past entries.

I think I'm just really confused right now, and thus it's making me feel very blurty. =?

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I've been working night shifts since Tuesday, so it leaves little time for me to check mail and comment on others' entries as much as I would like. However, I do enjoy working with the kids, and I realize that working with them is starting to grow on me. Perhaps working with kids is still in my professional future. =)

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I find it very strange that the weather can be warm enough for me to wear short-sleeve this morning, but so freezing cold when I got home an hour ago. Even stranger is that there's a rumor that we'll be getting 6 inches of snow tomorrow. 0.o Wacky weather.

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I got a whole package of unbruised strawberries and a box O'Cocos mocha crisps from Whole Foods today. Yum!

For some reason, I woke up this morning before the alarm went off...at 6... 0.o

I'm not complaining, since now I can putz around for a bit before work without feeling guilty. =P I even did my AM Yoga, without rushing. =D

Right now, The Hubby's toasting the waffles I made last night.

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I think we'll be taking the kids to see The Bridge to Terabithia. It's the only kid-friendly movie I see listed on Moviefone, and it's our scheduled activity today at work. Hopefully, the kids will like it.

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It's supposed to be kinda warm today and partly sunny. I'm enjoying the weather change very much. Yesterday, I was outside for a bit without a coat. =)

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I think my time for putzing around is just about up. I need to eat and get ready now. I think today will be a good day. *keeps fingers crossed*

My weekend's packed, so I've had little time to catch up on my f-list in the last couple of days. What I've been up to lately involves a lot of food and cleaning. I've also been very happy and motivated, so I ended up doing stuff not on the comp. I'm proud to say that I cleaned 3 different rooms in the condo, from top to bottom, and cooked a huge meal with my sister, to serve The Hubby, sister's boy, my bro, sis, and me. We had lots of leftovers ^.^

The sibs and my sister's boy came over last night, and we had a huge Japanese and Mexican themed meal. My bro's girl couldn't make it, so we made sure she had a sampler dish. What my sis cooked on the menu: Mexican-seasoned steak, and lime-infused shark steak. She also brought some homeade truffles she made, with the most popular one being the chipotle-coconut truffle. Yum. I prepared kani sushi (I also tried to do a crispy kani, but it wasn't too crispy), tempura broccoli, sauteed mushrooms, and Grilled Salmon Kyoto. At the end, everyone was pleasantly full. While fighting Teh Itis, we watched Las Vegas and 1 Vs. 100. My sis helped me clean up, and then headed home.

Today was work, which wasn't too exciting. Instead of our scheduled trip to the Y's Open Gym, we brought our kids to a Chinese buffet place for the activity. I'm still feeling full. =P I'm hoping I'll be hungry in an hour because The Hubby and I are meeting up with a few of his grad school classmates for dinner. We're heading to Carabba's, which is an Italian food place. I'm in the mood for Italian. =)

Tomorrow will be QT with lizabug and Carissa. I haven't gotten in touch with Carissa, so I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. I'm also planning to donate blood after Church. Yeah. Busy, food-filled weekend.

I planned to put up some pics, but I haven't painted the bedroom samples yet. I also haven't figured out which PI pics to post, so that's still pending.

I hope you all are having a nice weekend.